


white noise

by katotastic000



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Depression, M/M, they're college-age now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 14:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21283331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katotastic000/pseuds/katotastic000
Summary: A few months ago, when the news got to Mondo that Kiyotaka had been chosen to participate in a semester abroad in London to expand his language horizon, the first thing he said was,Don't go.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	white noise

**Author's Note:**

> I was looking through my not-that-old drafts and I found this and now decided to post it.
> 
> I wrote this to cope with some not great stuff, so it's _ edgy uwu_ and I'm not sure if I should regret my decision.
> 
> Have fun and suffer with the boys.

You sound desperate.  
Mondo usually was sucessful in hiding his emotions and Kiyotaka had never been good at reading them. And yet he managed to notice the hoarse- and brittleness in Mondo's voice. _It's so obvious?_

It only had been two days since Taka left. One hundred and eighty days to go. A few months ago, when the news got to Mondo that Kiyotaka had been chosen to participate in a semester abroad in London to expand his language horizon, the first thing he said was, Don't go. Taka's excited smile had instantly collapsed. Six months was the longest time they were apart since they met. Mondo's throat grew dryer and dryer the more he thought about the distance, stared into his boyfriend's widened eyes and called himself a selfish bastard in his mind. On the day Taka left, Mondo couldn't cry, no matter how much he wished for it, but Taka did when he told him the reason: There had been too many times already when his chest tightened and his breath staggered to be able to shed tears now, he had already cried enough.

The first day without him was surreal. Everyone around Mondo went their way as they did yesterday and as they would tomorrow and he was trapped in their stream. He moved automatically and pragmatically, his work that day got praised as exceptional and it made his stomach turn, but every piece of wood he touched and finished felt like icy metal in his hands. The home he came to had turned into a bland place full of meaninglessness that weighed down his shoulders. The missing pair of shoes next to his, the empty couch and chairs and the silence were the only things that made thoughts cut through the white noise in his brain. _He's gone._

Mondo, are you still there? Yeah, 'm here. What was he supposed to answer? _Of fucking course, because I_ am _desperate!_ Will it help if I tell you about all my experiences I've made so far? I guess. Taka seemed to be happy with the choice he made. The way his voice got louder and more passionate after he dropped the word new friend, how Mondo was able to tell when Taka was smiling managed to give him a sense of relief. He wasn't really listening although he wanted to but just hearing him was enough.

After thirty minutes, Taka interrupted himself, It's late in Japan, isn't it? You should sleep. Mondo tensed. But- It fell out of his mouth more like begging than disagreeing. Taka's right. I sound pretty hopeless. I can call you again tomorrow if you'd like but we should hang up for today. Sorrow accompanied those words. I- Mondo felt heavy. His tongue, his vocal cords, his lungs felt so heavy that he was barely able to talk. I miss you. Taka's breath skipped an exhale. "I wish I could kiss you, my love."

Not a moment later, the nothingness returned and Mondo found himself laying on their bed, staring at the ceiling into the darkness and waiting for something to exit his earbuds. Taka was right, he should sleep, he was tired and exhausted from... what? Did he accomplish something today? He wondered if he should go to work tomorrow. Ishimaru would be disappointed if he didn't.

With a groan, Mondo sat up. A glance to the kitchen clock as he scruffled out of their bedroom and down the hallway ascertained that it was indeed late: three minutes after midnight. Cold air swept through the apartment from a window he forgot to close. Distant whispers of raindrops pushed the silence aside or at least a bit. Mondo put on his shoes, grabbed the keys and didn't give a fuck about a coat while he walked out of their home to his bike. It was the only method he knew that assuredly purged him of all his troubles and white noises.

There probably were other ways. Staying with their friend Chihiro Fujisaki would give him company. Chihiro already experienced him this way - in high school, more times than Mondo liked - he'd understood the silence between them on their car ride home from the airport. You can call me anytime, you know?, Chihiro had offered as Mondo got out of his car. He had gifted him a tired smile and shut the door.

He was not alone and he knew that. He had Leon Kuwata, Aoi Asahina, his other friends from his Hope's Peak days, members of his gang that he was still in contact with. But if he appeared in front of their door now, in this drench, in the middle of the night, he would only bother them.

The rain was splattering against Mondo's bare arms as he belted down the road. The airflow was stroking his face, additional gusts of strong wind almost slapped him. It kept him awake. He wasn't sure where he was going. A red light stopped him.

He gave up ignoring traffic regulations after he befriended Taka who refused to take a ride with him unless both of them wore a helmet and he was paying attention to the speed limit. A helmet was unnecessarily warm and in the way but Mondo'd make some sacrifices for feeling Ishimaru's arms around his waist and his head resting on his back. Right now and all of a sudden, Mondo felt light. Like something was missing.

The night was cool and lonely. Streetlights were the only thing that stayed by Mondo's side throughout his drive. He somehow ended up on a highway and the rain had stopped. Strands of his drying hair which didn't stick to his skin fluttered in the air like a burnt flag. If he had to guess, he'd say that two hours had passed since Taka and he had talked. Compared to the previous forty-eight hours, Mondo was calm. It wasn't the good type of calm, Mondo was well aware of that, it was the type of calm that's not lasting, that granted him a form of peace for a few hours but was not a thick wall that kept the white noise at bay.

Mondo didn't know where he was going and he didn't care if he got lost. The only important thing was the distance. His heart pleaded for him to move, to run, to drive, whatever, just get out of here. It pressed forward against his ripcage. It wasn't forceful, its pounding didn't hurt and although it was the white noise's source, Mondo obeyed.

Nothing mattered but the distance. A gasp escaped his lips as he noticed that he was slowly running out of fuel. His skin was so cold that it made him shudder. A red light, this time one of a different city Mondo had never visited before, halted him again. The wind had diminished, it was completely quiet. After a second of silence, Mondo's vision blurred, tears were welling up in his eyes and _fucking christ_, he felt weak. Because when he would come home after those hours he spent on the road, Taka would not be there.


End file.
